Your Roots Are Showing

How is that time travel thing working out for you?

You know, when you wanted to go back to a time when America was ‘great.’ You were done with community, and democracy, and growth, and equality. You just wanted racist nostalgia.

So you let the KKK  and white nationalist crawl out from under their rocks. You went full-throttle on the supremacy-moves (Blue lives matter; football players can’t kneel, racists and sex offenders running for office. Now, you’re pushing for slavery again. Make no mistake, trading the lives and freedom of other people-in this case, the Dreamers- for an object (the wall) is the same formula that had the cotton industry booming in the 1700’s. Doing anything to control other people’s lives and freedom is a form slavery.

Taking away health care for children and now, wanting to substitute food stamps for canned/boxed goods – like you did to the Indigenous People you shoved on reservations must give you warm fuzzies. You’re trying hard to own a plantation, aren’t you?

If by MAGA you meant hate-filled chaos, congratulations. You got it. Sure, you had to sink very low and abandon human decency. You embraced hypocrisy. Turned your political party into a circus. You bought and sold lies as if you don’t know what they are. (Locker room talk; Mexico is going to pay for the wall; biggest inauguration ever; I’ll reveal my taxes; fake news; very fine people; sons of bitches…) You’ve even thrown in a few of your own (Russia meddling doesn’t matter; kneeling is disrespectful; confefe is secret code…)

Of course, no one expects you to actually accept responsibility for anything you’ve done. (It’s Muslims; it’s Blacks, it’s the media, It’s the Liberals, it’s the Deep State…) It’s everything but the truth.

That’s okay, the rest of us know the truth.

It’s not all White people it’s you. They don’t like your racist’s ways any more than the rest of us.

It’s not all Christians -it’s you. True Christianity is a religion of love and has nothing to do with  the crap you push.

It’s not all Conservatives – it’s you. Their belief in family values isn’t limited to your portion of the population.

Hiding behind those labels won’t improve your reputation one iota.

You know what else we know? This is all about you and your self-hate and insecurities. You have nothing, and you’ve done nothing. Your claim to fame is supremacy. You can only make yourself (substitute America so it sounds good) great by seeing others as less than. You have to hate in order to hide the truth. If you compete on equal terms, you might lose. You might be wrong. You might not be better than anyone else.

You could save yourself a lot of heartache, lies, and Jesus-claiming if you owned the reality and moved on.

The rest of us have.

Back in your good ‘ol days, you had the power. That’s gone. Exposed. Nothing you have thought, said, or done concerning equality has been correct. We know it, you know it, and thanks to social media, the entire world knows it.

So while you’re traveling back in time, looking for moments you can hug, why not go back to the moment you thought you were going to win and just quit?


The Best of Us

Bad things happen to everybody; it’s called life.  When they happen to someone who is so good he borders on angelic, it makes your blood boil. But when that person calmly and courageously takes it all in stride with no anger, resentment or reflection on their wounds or trouble, it makes you humble and appreciative.

Today, I am appreciative. I am appreciative my husband is alive.

My mom’s apartment is in a well-to-do neighborhood where everybody knows everybody. My aunt & uncle own the building and have lived on that street since 1968. The area is well-lit and many of the houses have surveillance. (Unfortunately, the one that would have helped us was not recording.)

About three months ago, the house next door was burglarized. It was an anomaly, as the last criminal incident near my aunt’s apartment building happened twenty years ago.

One notable plus/minus to my aunt’s house is a well-known and busy street just a few blocks over. Sometimes prostitutes discreetly and not so discreetly apply their trade. When the police are out and about, a client may have to drive around the corner to negotiate the terms of service -that’s the minus. The plus is when the police are out and about, they frequently drive through.

All that is to say: of all the inner city locations Matt has gone to (and he’s been in some dangerous spots), this neighborhood was among the safest.

Until last night. On his way home from work, Matt stopped to pick up my mother for her Christmas visit. Before he got out of the car, he replied to a text.

Three minutes changed our night.

A band of wanderers spotted him. Ten guys of varying age. The car was running while he texted. I speculate they tagged him as a John. (A John wouldn’t know anyone on the block; would take a while to get help; and depending on his personal life and/or career, might not want to involve the authorities at all.) They surrounded him, grabbed the door, and demanded he get out. Matt thought they may have been armed. He didn’t see a weapon but ten on one means you comply. As he was getting out, one man sucker-punched him. A second guy stole the car, and the rest took off.

Because he was at my mother’s house, he was able to get help right away. They called the police, then they called me. I was able to block his cards. The thieves threw his phone away (A Good Samaritan found and returned it), but his wallet, keys, everything else is gone.

The rest of his night consisted of reports, medics, a trip to the police station, and my family in varying states of hysterics and outrage.

My uncle is in his eighties, He is recovering from major surgery. He was out of his bed, questioning the neighbors – if those guys came from the area, he would know.

My brother works with Matt. He took over the job-related details.

Our daughter waited up and our son-in-law was prepared to leave his job and drive two states over to pick Matt up.

I drive the speed limit… All the time… Unless my husband has been attacked.

The family was on full alert because Matt is the very best of us. When you attack the very best of us, the rest of us can’t sit still.

Until Matt speaks.

The entire night, Matt remained calm. Forgiving. Upbeat even. He did not despair.

His eye was bleeding and swollen shut. – He didn’t utter a complaint.

His car, his belongings, and his identity was stolen. – He shrugged off the amount of work before us.

He hasn’t said a thing about the perpetrators other than praying for them. (No, he didn’t mention to the police that he’s a priest. He does nothing to bring attention to himself. Even when he is the center of attention.)

He did have the nerve to blame himself, once. “I wasn’t paying attention. I thought they were kids playing around. The next time, I’m out like that, I won’t linger…” (Not to worry, I nipped that in the bud.)

The lack of focus on his attackers is a big deal. Although the attack doesn’t appear to racially motivated, this could have been a billboard moment for white-privilege if he wanted to use it. Black people attacking white people for no reason is a great excuse for racism and supremacy. Since it actually happened, he would be justified in feeling that way.

But Matt is the best of us.

According to him: Some people did a bad thing. Hopefully, it will all work out. And, thank God it wasn’t worse.

How can you not be humbled and appreciative of someone like that?

The Shooting Sickness

If you want to say the mass shootings aren’t a gun issue, okay. What is it? What exactly is this mental health problem that seems to be running rampant amongst white men with guns?

A – We know it’s mostly a white disease (Sickle Cell is mostly a black disease. It happens.) People of color indulging in similar activities are almost always given a different diagnoses: thugs, extremists, terrorists, whatever.

B – We know this illness in undetectable by mental health experts and is not questioned on firearm registration forms. In fact, it’s not even considered an illness until after the shooter is identified as white. No matter what he does, how he lives, or how many guns he collects, it’s not an illness — it’s not anything —until accountability is required.

C – We know this sickness is isolated from any ideology or group trait that would reflect poorly on the white population. Regardless of what they watch, who they follow, or how many Bibles they own, a white shooter can in no way have been influenced by his teachings or environment.

It’s just an ambiguous, unexamined, mental health problem.

So what is the name of this mental health issue? What is this mysterious disease that makes white people react violently with hatred and evil; want to devalue life; and wield power over the weak, innocent, and/or unsuspecting? What illness is it whose current treatment is to create more of the same: more white people toting guns, deciding who lives and who dies. Certainly, a mental health problem such as this would have a name (otherwise people might think it was a deflection).

Fortunately, a name does exist. It is a well-documented phenomenon known as Supremacy.

A – Supremacy is not a large black or brown problem. Black and brown people lack the necessary power a race needs to suppress others (you can’t have supremacy without power). White men commit the highest number of mass shootings because according to US history, out of all the races, the white race has the vaguest understanding of the word: consequence. When you believe white=might=right, there is no limit to the boundaries that get ignored.

B – Mental health experts and firearm registration forms don’t detect supremacy because a large portion of white Americans refuse to acknowledge there is a troubling trend in their midst. Many won’t admit supremacy still exists.

C – White-privilege is not merely an ideology or group trait. It is an intricate aspect of their character. Privilege doesn’t influence the white environment, it is the white environment. So, no, it doesn’t matter what they watch who they follow, or how many Bibles they own. They don’t  get indoctrinated into white privilege — they are infected with it. They carry it with them where ever they go.

(**Note** That ever-growing list of sexual predators is a result of the supremacy-sickness too.)

Because self-evaluation is the leading technique white people apply when determining supremacy (followed closely by having a black friend) the illness continues to go unchecked.

But, wait. There is a cure! Along with thoughts and prayers for the victims, there is something to be offered that can stop the flow of hate.

It’s a little pill called truth. It’s not easy to swallow, but it is a veritable wonder-drug. And, while, it can be habit-forming, it is readily available and more affordable than a cup of coffee.

Many, many white people have already partaken with amazing, life-changing results. Not only are they not interested in perpetrating heinous crimes against humanity, they have no desire to suppress others at all: not in their workplaces, not in their neighborhoods, not even at football games.

Keeping to the daily recommendation of vitamin-truth dismantles the ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality because it removes the heart-warts caused by the unnatural fear of others. VT flushes the system of the assumption of a superior race and allows the body a healthy intake of empathy for non-white issues. The healing properties of the truth-pill can reverse the negative effects of privilege to such a degree that white-privilege can actually be used as a force for good.

In fact, none of the symptoms associated with the previously unnamed ‘mental health problem’ remain after exposure and acceptance of the Truth-cure.

So, maybe, white people, if you don’t think the problem with mass shootings is gun-related, you might want to acknowledge that it is supremacy-related and you may want to start dosing up on some truth.

The Other Side of Race

Being in an interracial marriage of different social classes forced Matt and I through a trial by fire. We had no choice but to learn how to get through supremacy and privilege, injustice and miscommunication. We wanted our marriage to work so we had to commit ourselves to tearing down the systems that kept us from being who God created us to be. We’ve had to face truths, heal hurts and do the work to become greater than our history.

Our lessons began at the beginning of our relationship. Even before we identified it. It was just bad things about me and my family and quirky things about him and his family. (Yes, you read that right. We were both conditioned to think of black as negative and white as anything but.) That changed. But some of those early lessons included damaging our daughter and suppressing my identity. Not to worry. Those hard lessons our family endured have become nothing less than weapons in the hands of skilled warriors. All three of us. We know what we know because we’ve lived it. Are we perfect? Not even close. But, in our house, we live on the other side of racism. Among other things, we know when to talk, and when to react. Both are necessary.

Matt and I have been doing race for more than a quarter of a century. We saw this storm brewing years ago. We tried to help. Because we lived in a white community and the people around us were largely blind to anything beyond their Conservative, Christian bubbles, we offered to share our insights. We tried to communicate. We tried to prepare. In our naiveté, we assumed good Christians would want to learn and grow and be in a position to A-do the right thing. B-weather the storm and C-become instrumental in helping others work through the chaos.

We were wrong.

What happened to Colin Kaepernick happened to us. On a much smaller scale, of course, but the same routine. No one (but me) ever used or even thought in terms of racism. But, my unwillingness to submit to whiteness was at the heart of every problem. Silencing me was always the end game.

We didn’t achieve racial understanding because racial conversations didn’t happen. Whitesplaining happened. A lot. But, racial conversations could not get any significant traction. We were coerced out of churches, groups, and gatherings because who we are is not who they wanted us to be. (Those are the same mindsets who spout: you’re disrespecting the flag, get out of my country!)

We were also treated to the punishment of silence. My existence in its purest form is such an affront to their imagery, they refuse to see me. The billboard message from those who ignore racism was brought to our front door: Your race is not my race. Therefore, your race is unimportant.

People I have known for decades (some, Matt has known his whole life) will not exchange two words with us because no matter how much they don’t want to see color, they can’t unsee me.

Does that make us sad? At times. But, the price we paid to live on the other side of racism is the loss of connection to those who didn’t want to come.

Over here, there is a freedom that fits the definition of freedom. People are seen for who they are. Respect is required but agreement is optional. And, history does not get the opportunity to repeat itself.

And, now, seeing our own personal journey playing out before the world, in the form of the anthem protest, is as redemptive as it is humbling.

Colin Kaepernick told a truth and took a stand for his beliefs. People with a certain ideology lost their shit. Called it (and him) everything but what it was. They lied, denied, withdrew, diverted, attacked, and judged. But his truth won’t go away.

Neither will we.

Every time someone takes a knee, my heart swells and my chin goes up another notch. The truth Matt and I told becomes a little more solidified every day. My family didn’t piss off thousands but, we’ve done our part.

Tragic Tragedies

What happened in Las Vegas was a shocking tragedy; no one can deny it. The fear, the anger, the pain of injuries and the unnecessary loss of life; the struggle to understand and the need for empathy and unity are all part of what it means to be human.

Imagine if help had been delayed or denied those victims. Imagine if Mr. Trump would have tweeted negative things about those people while they were still struggling to survive.

Now, imagine not helping those people at all. What if they were called names and told their experience wasn’t real, didn’t happen? What if they were blamed as if they deserved it; as if no crime had been committed? Imagine if their desperate pleas for help were mocked, challenged and/or ignored. What if people said, those victims are not victims and calling attention to their own suffering is unpatriotic and disrespectful to the flag? What if Mr. Trump said, wealthy athletes who use their platform to help the suffering, are sons of bitches?

Can you imagine that? No. I don’t think you can. If you could imagine it, you would be able to empathize and experience it with the rest of us who are fighting supremacy.

Make no mistake, this is supremacy. That you have no trouble seeing the horror of a majority white tragedy but you argue, and categorize, and demean, and dismiss, the very real suffering of others.

For the rest of us, empathy is not that hard. We don’t have to be country music fans to cry with Las Vegas. To want answers. To want to stop it from happening again.

We don’t have to be Puerto Rican to want faster and better help for our Island siblings. Or, to be insulted by judgmental comments and tweets.

We don’t have to live in the inner city. We can be professional athletes and still want police brutality to stop.

We don’t attack other people’s pain. We can want better for everyone because we empathize.

But there is a dark side. Thanks to you, there’s a limit.

There now exists, some of us, who beyond sincere acknowledgment, can’t place too much focus on this latest shooting. It’s not desensitization. It’s self-preservation. White privilege didn’t care about Philando Castile, Terence Crutcher, Tamir Rice, and so many others. The not-privileged are learning to save their sympathy for the people and communities who suffer first harm and then injustice. Dylan Roof wasn’t labeled a terrorist (he wanted to start a race war). In fact, most white men aren’t given bad names no matter how heinous the crime. We don’t give a damn what you call Stephen Paddock (it wasn’t son of a bitch). You’ve shit on our hurts so many times, we are running out of energy for yours.

Your hearts are hard, we can’t trust you. Because you wanted to ban Muslims after the San Bernardino attack, your words of shock and outrage about Las Vegas, with no action attached, ring hollow in our ears. Your tears are suspect. Your empathy appears to have an on/off switch. Your concern is a matter of your comfort and self-benefit, and we must be leery of you and by extension, your causes.

You did that. To us. To yourself. To all of America. Deciding who has the right to pain. Who’s suffering is legitimate. Thinking that you own this country and you can decide what’s important to other people. The hate, the anger, the division that’s running rampant is because of your supremacy. Your lack of love for your fellow-man is palatable. This is the America you have created.

Oh, you don’t like it when people assign blame. That’s too bad. You earned it. You paraded it. You pushed it. You voted for it.

Thank you, Mr. Trump

I for one, am happy Mr. Trump made his statement that NFL players should be fired for kneeling. He has, thankfully, eliminated all the games and put the responsibility for this diabolical mess exactly where it belongs. On the shoulders of his supporters.

There is no more arguing; no more debate. No more pretending the protest is about something other than what it is. Nor, pretending the backlash is anything other than racism.

Mr. Trump had more conviction in his criticism for football players peacefully protesting than he had for the white nationalists who have Heather Heyer’s blood on their hands.

Make no mistake, calling for the punishment of a group of people for not being subservient is hateful, inciteful and plain old racist. It not only speaks of his character, or lack there of, but of the character and moral fiber of his followers.

Nobody is surprised by Mr. Trump. He is what he is and he incites hate like always. But, the people who support his behavior; who are proud of the ugliness he spews, can no longer hide behind words like: Christian, patriot, humble, honest, fair, equal, unbiased, friend, love, peace, or unity. Thanks to Mr. Trump, the only words left for them to embrace are: White Supremacy.

For all of those who say, ‘voting for Trump doesn’t make me a racist.’ Maybe not. However, supporting racism does, in fact, make you a racist. Mr. Trump put it on blast: he supports and encourages racism. If your leader is a supremacist and you follow his lead… well, you know the old sayings: You can tell a man by the company he keeps; If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas; If it looks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a racist whose racism is totally exposed.

For those who say, ‘Trump was God’s choice.’ You may be right. If it is God’s will to bring your hypocrisy to the surface and reveal how deeply you fear and hate, then yes, it worked, rather well. We see you clearly, and we know behind your self-righteous facade, you are damaged and damaging to others.

For those who are silent. Your silence is cowardice. Frankenstein tried to run from his monster too. Pretending you have no accountability, increases your accountability.

It doesn’t matter which category is yours, the choice is the same, you either deal with the truth or, you continue to embrace your legacy of hate. As long as you realize, the rest of us aren’t gong to cooperate with your extremely limited world view. (You know, the one in which everyone lives according to your plan and for your purpose.) Just as we see you, you get to see us for who we truly are: Real Americans who don’t give a damn about fitting your image.

Tantrum all you want. It won’t stop us. We will stand. We will kneel. We will fight. We will love. We will win.


Those Precious Statues

Saw a meme asking how removing the Confederate Statues was going to improve my life. Idk. Addressing lies and obtaining justice feels like a positive step to me.

After all that talk about us needing to forget slavery and move on, you’re losing your shit over relocating some statues. (Seriously, when was the last time you posted a picture of the family standing beside the Statehouse with the capture: ‘Thanks to this sculpture of Justice Taney, we know the Dred Scott ruling was wrong.’?) You don’t want to own your hate, but you want to keep your warm-fuzzy supremacy mementos on display in case we forget who you are.

Not to worry. We will never forget who you are. Quite frankly, suggesting that moving Confederate statues is erasing and/or sanitizing history is as insulting as it is unintelligent.

Because of your proclivity to erase and sanitize history; I can’t tell you which African Country I come from. Jesus is supposed to be European. America was ‘discovered’ and founded on Christian principles. Slavery happened so long ago it’s no longer anybody’s fault. The Civil Rights Movement cured everything. Cultural appropriation isn’t real. And, white-privilege doesn’t exist.

We don’t need to go any further than the Dakota Pipeline to know your true feelings when it comes to preserving heritage and history. Add that to your attempts to ignore and/or justify the present and you have the answer to the question, ‘What is going on in our society?’

Those statues are a subliminal message for people of color.

‘Here is a person whom we honor for his outstanding efforts to crush your entire race. May it be a reminder, there will always be people who want to belittle and hurt you and your children, because our race is better than your race. If you ever attempt to succeed beyond our permission, our race will rise up in the spirit of this leader, and our vengeance will be upon you.’

You’re not fighting to preserve the truth; the truth isn’t going anywhere. You’re fighting to keep your version of history on display regardless of it being a lie. You are fighting to preserve supremacy, and, you are losing.

That’s what’s going on.

It’s having your power stripped away that’s making you uncomfortable. White supremacy isn’t as scary as it once was. Black people aren’t staying in their place like they used to. Those symbols and subliminal messages aren’t getting through anymore.

You don’t know what to do with that. You’ve always been the dominant race. Taking away your dominion is taking away a part of your identity. That’s a problem for you, I get it. But you were never supposed to have that dominance, to begin with.

I don’t know how you are going to solve it — figuring out who you are, now. What I do know is, in spite of your fear, in spite of your confusion, in spite of your anger; regardless of who you are or who you will eventually become, we are not going back to your good ole days.

We’re not going to pretend white-washing equals truth.

We’re not going to accept that the problem is us. You act. We react.

We’re not going to call it anything but what it is. Supremacy and your desire to keep it.

Rather than irrelevant temper tantrums over false narratives and powerless symbols, you may want to invest in learning actual history, engaging in real dialogue, and I don’t know. Maybe, just stop.

You have an opportunity to address your history of hate and do better. If you waste it, your failure won’t get whitewashed. No one is going to throw up a statue to your lost cause.